How They're Telling You 'No' Without Actually Telling You 'No'

Reading between the lines in your recruiting conversations is like scouting video ahead of facing your next opponent: It's usually the difference between winning and losing.

Simply put, your prospects don’t like telling you ‘no’.

“No, I’m not interested.” “No, I don’t want to visit.” “No, I don’t think I’m going to turn in the application before the deadline.”

Wouldn’t it be a much simpler world if they would just give you the unvarnished truth? Oh yeah. To that end, wouldn’t it be a much simpler world if we, as adults, would do the same? Oh yeah.

Alas, we don’t. And neither do your prospects. But this isn’t an article about how to force them to tell you the truth. There are actually language strategies that we use with our clients when we’re really trying to find out what direction to go with a prospect at critical points in the recruiting process, but that’s a lesson for a different time (but of course, if you’re a client and you need help with a prospect, you know we’re here to help - call or email).

This is an article about understanding what your prospects are really thinking, and how to strategically react to it. Like you would in a game, Coach. You don’t ignore what you’re seeing unfold in real time on the sidelines, you react to it and adjust.

The same thing needs to be happening in your recruiting efforts, and the game that you’re in the middle of playing with your recruits. So, based on our research and focus group testing with thousands of recently recruited athletes, here are three important common cues you should recognize as a prospect trending towards “no” before they actually tell you no (which, as I said, they may never actually do):

---

No response to phone, email, text or DM

Let’s start simple, but let’s also clarify how to read this non-action on their part.

When prospects don’t respond when you initially start recruiting them, that is 100% normal. Prospects attitudes and emotions early on range from overwhelmed to pure disinterest. Neither are reasons to give up and not continue recruiting them. They aren’t usually saying “no” permanently. They are saying “no, I’ve never heard of you”. Or, “no, I’m aiming for my dream school.” That’s not “no”, that’s them not having any reason to take an initial step with you.

Coaches that give up based on a set of prospects not responding favorably, or at all, are easy pickings for the coaches who stay even just a little bit persistent. When we work with new clients, one of the first things we usually point to as a strategy is to keep communicating consistently with them and let other coaches trail off because of impatience or laziness…those prospects, that started out with no interest, often see our clients as the true interested option, and begin communicating with them and, ultimately, committing to them. Not all, of course, but enough that our clients point to this specific strategic approach as being a key to earlier wins and better overall incoming talent.

Now, if you’re sixth or eight months into the process and have had regular communication, and then all of a sudden it stops, that’s a big red flag. Not normal at all, as you have probably learned. Two quick ways to confirm their mindset:

1. Communicate with the parents. Do you know why we push early communication and separate recruiting of the parents of your recruits? Because there are times you need to go around your prospect, and the parents are your key. Wondering what’s behind the non-contact? Ask the parents. Need an application sent back and the prospect promises to do it, but never does? Ask the parents. Haven’t built up an early relationship through consistent communication and inclusion? Then you can’t ask the parents.

2. Assume the worst, and tell them that. This is one of the strategies we teach a lot in our On-Campus Recruiting Workshops, and it works. Here’s the basic idea: When you connect with the prospect, or their parents, or their coach, and tell them that you’re assuming they aren’t interested and aren’t interested in the scholarship or roster spot. If that’s the case, they’ll confirm it because you’re calling them on it. If it’s not the case, and there is some other reason for the non-contact, they’ll usually rush to assure you that they are interested, and they’re really sorry for not getting back to you. You get confirmation - but only because they heard you and felt you backing away from them and losing interest in them.

Delay in moving through your process like other recruits who commit

I mentioned the instances where a recruit delays sending in needed application documents, or something else essential in the process, causing them to fall behind other prospects. That’s a sign that you may not be a priority in their mind.

Other indicators include missing appointments with you to talk, swearing they’re going to talk to their parents about the campus visit date you want to set up, or not adhering to a previously agreed upon deadline.

Is it always a sign they are going to say ‘no’? Of course not…nothing is universal in recruiting. But is it a sign that they are frequently going to eventually tell you ‘no’? Absolutely. Delay and deferment on their part is a passive-aggressive way to put-off