Preventing Your Prospect's Second Guessing
Worried about decommits? Here are some strategies we've seen work with our clients
Clemson’s Dabo Swinney called out a rival for continuing to recruit a transfer who had already committed to play for Swinney, and was already on campus. It was just the next logical step in the devolution of the free agency that got created with the advent of the portal, increased transfers, and the system that’s in play now.
You’re not going to read anything that’s a fix to that, or even if it’s ending up as a good thing or a bad thing for college sports…you’ve got your own opinion on that.
My job here is to outline the strategy that a coach can use to build their program. And the central problem that coaches everywhere - in every sport, at every level - is now increasingly revolving around solving this core question:
How do I keep the athletes that verbally committed to me and my program?
Here is the reality most college coaches eventually learn the hard way:
A verbal commitment does not represent certainty, it represents a moment of emotional alignment. If you treat that moment as permanent, you create the conditions that allow doubt to creep in later. Decisions do not usually unravel because another program suddenly looks better…they unravel because the original decision is no longer being reinforced while the athlete’s brain naturally looks for reassurance (And, yes, $1,000,000 or so in NIL money also has a part to play in those decision at the highest levels.)
How we all decide if we’re going to ‘buy’
Every meaningful buying decision follows a predictable two-part emotional arc, according to all of the decision-making psychology we’ve read about.
Relief and excitement come first.
But after that, the brain begins scanning for risk. Psychologists refer to this as post decision dissonance. The larger the decision, the stronger the internal questioning. A college choice may be the biggest decision a young athlete has ever made. Expecting confidence to remain steady without continued reinforcement ignores how human decision making actually works.
One of the most common recruiting mistakes is assuming commitment replaces uncertainty. Commitment removes urgency, but uncertainty still exists under the surface. The athlete no longer has to decide, yet their mind continues evaluating whether the decision feels safe, smart, and aligned with who they are becoming. When communication slows after a commitment, outside voices sound louder. Another coach does not have to win the athlete over. They only have to create enough doubt for the athlete to reopen the mental door.
This is where you come in after they commit, Coach…
As we talk and teach and develop a strategy around, the way you recruit committed athletes matters. The purpose changes as you continue to communicate, but the responsibility does not disappear. Ongoing recruiting is about reinforcing emotional security, clarity around role and future, and a sense of belonging. These three elements stabilize decisions, and when any one of them weakens, doubt finds room to grow.
Second guessing usually begins with small moments that feel insignificant to a coach. A delayed response by you, fewer check ins because you get busy. A lull between visits and next steps. Meanwhile another staff shows interest again. That attention feels validating. But once doubt mixes with validation, the athlete gives themselves permission to listen.
Research in consumer psychology consistently shows that people justify decisions emotionally before they justify them logically. Facts support decisions after the emotional story feels right. But when the emotional story fades, logic eventually follows it out the door. That’s true for high school and college athletes, and it’s true for us as adults when we’re making a big purchase decision. If your relationship with a committed athlete stops progressing, the emotional story stagnates.
The way to prevent this starts with a mental shift. A commitment should be viewed as the beginning of onboarding, not the end of recruiting. High performing organizations increase communication after a customer commits. They reinforce value, clarify expectations, and reduce anxiety. So, college coaches who keep recruiting classes intact operate the same way.
Here’s what coaches need to know about how this process can play out (and what they can do to alter the negative outcomes):
After the commitment, communication should evolve rather than fade or disappear. The tone moves from evaluation toward inclusion. Conversations focus more on fit, development, academic support, and long term vision. The athlete should feel
